what a decade of trying, failing, and reinventing taught me: 50 life lessons
here's 50+ lessons of the last decade being busy following my ideas, trying new things, learning new skills, building personal brands and falling short many many many times.
Yeah, I booked a trip to Paris for my 30th birthday.
I also lost my phone on day 1 and decided to go on a little digital detox while i’m discovering and exploring. It allowed me to completely disconnect from my daily routine and mental clutter from back home.
Yes someone found it and gave it back to me.
Ok so the following list is a collection of lessons and advice FOR myself moving into this next decade of my life.
They have been randomly collected over a few weeks, not really edited nor polished. Some might speak to you, some might not. Some might make sense, some might not. Don’t agree to everything I say, make your own judgement and see if they apply to your personal life. If not, discard them.
In Montmartre. Probably where I’d stay if I decided to move to Paris.
Ambition will keep you going AND will also make you lose yourself.
Losing yourself is the fastest way to finding yourself.
Nothing is as important as it seems.
I used to make a big deal out of everything. Looking back, I understand how little and insignificant most of those things were.
“Nothing is permanent” is a good reminder when life is hard but a even greater one when life is good: it keeps you humble and prevents you from taking life for granted.
The only validation you need is your own.
The only permission you need is your own.
Think 10 years ahead before making big decisions.
No regrets. Only experiences and lessons.
People want to help, let them.
The answers are found in the doing. In other words— when in doubt, try it.
Decide now, figure out later.
Love with all your heart. Even after you get hurt.
There’s no point in living without the capacity to love fully.
Be patient with yourself.
Sometimes your best is 20% of your best.
Don’t chase people. Live your life how you want to and the right people will show up on your path.
Spend time alone, undistracted. It will give you all the answers.
Kind but firm.
Never second-guess your intuition.
Always follow curiosity.
Hang out with older people they will make you see life with different lenses. The fastest way to learn is by spending time with wiser and smarter people.
Pivot fast.
I really don’t know shit. At 20 I felt like I got everything figured out in my head. Now I just turned 30 and I now know that I don’t know anything and everything is subject to change.
Always stay open to change. That’s where the magic happens.
Learn to think for yourself. They don’t know what’s best for you. Only you do.
But to know, you have to try things and come up with your own conclusions.
Don’t block yourself from the good.
Comparison will make you miserable.
Give without counting.
Always be grateful for those around you. Every opportunity I got was because I had people believing in me, giving me enough confidence in myself to walk through the doors that scared me the most.
Don’t stay where you are not wanted.
Be committed to yourself. Learn as much as you can. Reflect. Ask questions.
The sooner you drop your ego the faster you get out of your own way, achieving what you want. For that you need to spend time getting to know yourself.
Accept the advice only if it applies to your personal situation.
Most people give unsolicited advice or simply share their own personal lessons based on their personal experience.
For that you must always question everything.
I don’t know much more than you do, I might have spent more time reflecting about what I know to be true for myself but if you pause and sit with yourself you will also find all the answers you are looking for.
Trust your own judgement.
Don’t waste time over explaining yourself.
People don’t change, accept them as they are or move on.
Being busy serving others is the antidote to depression.
Long walks solve most problems.
You don’t have too many problems, you have too much time to think about the same things that it turns them into problems.
Create everyday.
Took me a while to figure this one out but not all friendships are equal.
Everyone you meet is here to teach you something about yourself.
Follow fears.
Follow curiosity.
The more you do something, the better you get,
the more enjoyable it becomes = passion
Passion is created by showing up everyday.
Ask more questions.
I think something that really helped me over the years is adopting a beginner’s mindset in everything that I do; assuming that I always have something to learn. It keeps me grounded, humble and I get ahead much faster by not being held back by pride.
Forgive, forget and move on.
Prioritize yourself.
In the comments:
which one resonates the most with you?
what 53rd advice would you give?
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me,
Yan
So may good ones; some favs are 4,8,24,32 and 40. 53 I’d say: when you’re having a shitty day, its remind yourself that someone would give anything to trade places with you in that moment…makes you realize that you’re in a pretty good spot. Pause and think of what you have that is good in that moment…there’s always something.
Feels like I’m reading a post I wrote for myself except that I didn’t write it :) keep putting out more bro x